Wednesday, November 23, 2011

First time near a House of Blues...

As I crawl in the Virtual Dumpster I call The Internet...

I get E-mail about local Las Vegas concerts...I go ooooo "House Of Blues" and "Hard Rock Cafe"? So Tonight the band playing below is at The House of Blues. Tickets are 20 bucks. I was curious who the band was playing. Wow listen up to 2:40 this group has some awesome sound. it just because I am old? No way the vocals suck. Seriously! Now I understand the name of the band "Between The Buried and Me". I am sadly disappointed in "The House of Blues". I really had thought it was something better.

I guess you get what you pay for. Tickets at most headliner concerts run from $81 bucks to $247. Is this Vegas or what downloading off the Internet has created?

Shit Yo Gabba Gabba is in town next week and it costs near 300 bucks for mom to take two kids! We have tried to win free tix all week.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011


As I crawled the Virtual Dumpster I call the Internet..

I am waiting for money to get deposited in the bank and am out of smokes. I played this video and feel a bit better.

Pantera - Mouth For War by jjoao

I'm screaming revenge again
I've been wrong for far too long
Been constantly so frustrated
I've moved mountains with less
When I channel my hate to productive
I don't find it hard to impress

(Pre) Bones in traction
Hands break to hone raw energy
Bold and disastrous
My ears can't hear what you say to me

(Chorus) Hold your mouth for the war
Use it for what isn't for
Speak the truth about me

I feel a conquering will down inside me
The strength of many to crush
Who might stop me
My strength is in number
And my soul lies in every one
The releasing of anger can better any medicine under the sun



There comes a time within everyone to close your eyes to
what's real
No comprehension to fail
I vacuum the wind for my sail
Can't be the rest
Let others waste my time
Owning success is the bottom line.
Like a knife into flesh
After life is to death
Pulling and punching the rest of duration
NO ONE can piss on this determination

Phil Anselmo vocals, Diamond (Dimebag) Darrell Abbott guitar, Vinnie Paul Abbott Drums and Rex Brown on bass! This song deep feeling metal music! It is when the boys would wear combat boots and shorts all the time. A 10 yr difference from my my generation era... The passing of the torch of rock and roll rebellion truly represented! It's violent lyrics mixed with this awesome metal performance has a poetic potency about it. The lyrics data base have many places read "not licensed to provide lyrics". I am not sure if that is gag order for language or violent content. But I included the lyrics below. In memory of my rebel days!

Sunday, November 13, 2011

National Hunger And Homeless Awareness Week

Nartional Hunger and Homeless Awareness Week Nov.12-20

Last year I got on the Blogger Unite cause wagon. I am dedicating my blog today for another cause.

Each year, one week before Thanksgiving, National Coalition for the Homeless and the National Student Campaign Against Hunger and Homelessness co-sponsor National Hunger and Homelessness Awareness Week. During this week, a number of schools, communities and cities take part in a nationwide effort to bring greater awareness to the problems of hunger and homelessness.

I am reblogging my last year's post. I just can't seem to do any better than that. I was homeless for a short term in 1999. I sent my kids to their dad. The place I lived and my counterculture lifestyle backfired on me and my children were at risk. I battled for my bohemian hippyesque life until I realized my kids were being exposed to some hard stuff.  I did a "nestea" plunge homeless, broke and without my children into God's World.

FROM 2010:

November 14th through November 20th 
During this week of Awareness..
Give to your local missions or shelters!
Help them expand the love of God
In a way that it is needed
Food and Shelter
And unconditional kindness
In 1999, I became homeless.  My experience was life changing.  I met so many interesting people who were just as down and out.  Some were wanderers and hopped from mission to mission.  Others, were like me, no job and had a personal life fall out.  I was lucky and thankful to the Bakersfield Rescue Mission and the Crossroads Mission of Yuma, Arizona.  Feeding, clothing and shelter.  I was able to shower and do laundry.  I also had resources available for free bus passes and employment assistance.
I was never hungry.
In fact, we ate so much that I imagined the neon sign that read "Jesus Saves" should of included "Jesus Feeds".
They didn't treat us like pigeons to get us to hear the word. They just were there and friendly.  They didn't make us feel like lost sheep or guilty that we lost faith.
I was never afraid.
 I was fortunate to be in a smaller metro area with a shelter. In Bakersfield, I made a friend-Cheryl. She had a smile and a walk that when she passed by the flowers would blossom. She smiled at me as I was behind her going to the dining hall and said "If any of those guys back there are looking at my ass, you tell them they owe me a dollar". We began to be friends after that.  
And she was happy in a place you would think happy would have a hard time to find.

After being rejected applying for 40 plus jobs and being told that the Alaska fish industry recruiter was only looking for migrant farm workers...
I had gone to the Kern County Fair to join the carnival. I knew I could get work there and follow it.  Cheryl and about 10 other homeless followed my lead. We followed the whole season with the carnival company.  II had my own kiddy ride. It was the safari train you see pictured.  I had to put the tracks together.  You needed about 4 strong men to lift the cars.  I was lucky to have my own ride. The kiddy ride director (Benny) told us that being a Carnie is "the hardest work you will ever do being homeless". It was a Carnie camp out. Not everyone had housing. We would take our sleeping bags into some of the rides and sleep there. We ended in Northern California and dismantled our rides in the pouring rain.  It was like swimming.

I was fortunate to have a circle of friendly people who were in the same situation. We all put together our money and at the end of the season rented a U-haul and hauled ourselves South like illegals in the cargo area. We went to the summer spot where Carnies go. There were two places Indio, CA or Yuma, AZ  I got a job in Yuma and decided not to follow the next season.

Always a street wise good soul was by my side protecting me like a saint or an angel.  Cheryl set herself up at a motel in Yuma. I went to the Mission.

I failed to tell you Cheryl (as I suspected) was a prostitute.
She told a story how she was the Petroleum Pageant Queen in her local town in another time...She'd say she would see her children when they graduate. She always talked about guardian angels. I found her an angel pin that she wore like religion. Cheryl was surely an angel with dirty wings. She would say that she loved having sex, but men had to pay AND satisfy HER.  In her opinion she was not selling her body, she would put a money criteria to do something she normally did.  

She walked around town with me as I tried to find a conventional  job. We parted ways when I got my job. I was able to leave the Crossroads Mission. I heard she was getting married, then I heard she stole 2K of weed from her fiancee who was looking for her only to forgive her. She had come to see me earlier and we hugged and cried as she said goodbye on her way to Phoenix.  I didn't tell him that.

There was another angel named Dennis who looked like and thought he was Jesus and would cry because he would get horny.  He took over the charge of guardian.  Dennis helped me find an apartment next to some friends and stayed with me until he felt the sex building up then went back to the homeless shelter to be Jesus because he had a hard time being Platonic. Grinning with this memory... 

In my apartment, I would burn three Catholic candles.  A friend of a neighbor asked me what I did that for and I said "1 billion Catholics can't be wrong".  I just didn't know exactly why. Although raised a Catholic, I was not really devout as an adult. I would chuckle when I'd buy them and think 1 billion Catholics can't be wrong.  They burned a long time and gave a hint of heat in my studio apartment that was all I really needed in the Yuma winter time.  Then something DID happen. The person who asked me about the candles became my friend. He and his wife  lived down the road. That friendship turned  into a ride North bound.  Before we left, I went to the local Catholic church and left the heavier portion of my collection of heart rocks that I had found on my way to Yuma next to the St. Francis statue. 
Oh I failed to add that all through this homeless journey I would find heart rocks.
There was love everywhere!  
I kept only a select portable amount.

[picture source]
In the bigger cities, there are not always spots at the missions to accommodate all the homeless.  I was lucky. I had my angels.
My angels were real people with real lives that were not perfect, but were loving.  My description of them may spark a stigma in your mind (Prostitute and Schizo), but their reality and hearts were real. 

The true sad problem are "The Abandoned" or "The Loveless".  These are those that can't get into the shelters because of some rule or got kicked out because of one.  These are Nam Vets that live outdoors some remote area holed up because they came back not quite right. These are also the mentally ill that roam the streets because the system hasn't caught up with them, or they scored just high enough to qualify for release, get a 'nut check' (social security), but come out to ride the bus and wander the streets talking to themselves or that big rabbit that sits next to them.  One could look deeper and there are drug and alcohol addicts and broken souls from tragedy that they dare not share. Addiction and despair and insanity all live there. 

You can get robbed, raped or killed as prey in the dark shadows.
I teetered on the edge of danger many times, but a force of goodness just kept me from falling.  There are good people in the dregs where you would think good would have a hard time to find.

All through my personal homeless experience I discovered:
I was never hungry. I was never afraid.  There is love everywhere!

  • It is no use walking anywhere to preach unless our walking is our preaching.
  • For it is in giving that we receive.
  • Where there is charity and wisdom, there is neither fear nor ignorance. 
  • I have been all things unholy.If God can work through me, he can work through anyone.

  • Start by doing what's necessary; then do what's possible; and suddenly you are doing the impossible.
  • A real friend is someone who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.
All above quotes are from:
Giovanni Francesco di Bernardone 
aka St Francis Of Assisi
 1182 – 1226

      Post script:  I found a person with Cheryl's last name on FaceBook that lived in her home town (where she once was the  Petroleum Pageant Queen) and was told by the son who never knew her that she had died two years ago.  The lifetime of drugs finally caught up with her was the epitaph emailed to me.  I am sad that she could not save herself and that she is most likely buried in Potter's Field. 
      I don't know what pain is deeper that of motherless children or childrenless mothers. 
      RIP Cheryl  2008

      It has been 12 yrs since my journey North to a sober life.
      Thank you for viewing my blog!
      Bluezy (Susan)

      Thursday, November 10, 2011


      As I crawled the Virtual Dumpster I call The Internet...

      I missed the comeback of Beavis and Butthead...but I don't get Mtv anyways!
      If you are curious, there are streams on BlinkX Remote

      Yeah so Beavis and Butthead went for 8 seasons can you believe it? So the current new episodes they are calling season 9! Yep, it aired from 1993 to 1997. And like many who were like them, nothing has changed since! Even the couch and TV LOL. Just now they can sit in front of their TV and critique Food Network and Lady Gaga?
      I am amused by Beavis And Butthead, but not a real dedicated fan. I had to love "Cornholio" that really cracked me up. This song is done by DJ Stork on YouTube. I have this on my MP3 player. Great mix!

      I really prefer Mike Judge's other long running animation
      1997 to 2010 can you believe it?

      Tuesday, November 8, 2011

      AFD-Away From Dumpster

      As I crawled the Virtual Dumpster I call The Internet..

      I found a free concert 5 bands including this group. Twin Atlantic. It has charisma and deep emotional lyrics and their energy shows a moving towards further greatness.

      I noticed the lead singer tying his shoes and thought it a camera worthy shot. His shoes were no label no design I could tell and I just had the feeling he was flaunting that to us. The band is from Scotland. We Americans flaunt labels and bling nowadays more so than ever. I altered it with a neon filter to represent Las Vegas. Yep I was right up front. They deserved a better and bigger crowd.

      Sam McTrusty is the lead singer. You can read about the band on [wiki]

      Friday, November 4, 2011

      Dona Nobis Pacem Blog4Peace 2011

      First, check out this Fan created video. I was thinking of using this song for another Blog4Peace video, but this video stands "as is" OUTSTANDING!   Keep Talking by Pink Floyd.

      Peace means don't fight it out... Talk it out!

      I think of myself as a born again human. I think it much better than saying "recovered drug user". I was fortunate to just walk away. I never wanted to go back. It started out with the festivities of a party, but ended with the gloom of a funeral. I just hope that society demonizes drugs and NOT the people who use/used them.

      Addiction should never be treated as a crime. It has to be treated as a health problem. We do not send alcoholics to jail in this country. Over 500,000 people are in our jails who are nonviolent drug users.
      -Ralph Nader
      Demonize the drug not the people who do/did them. Compassion not conviction.
      -MADeline Woe 1996
      (MADeline Woe has been my artistic "nom de plume" since the mid 90 drug war)

      Peace is overcoming Drugs and Violence. 

      I made a video for the Blog4Peace about this:

      On the ending selections, I also made the video called "Chanc Tidwell-A Digital Memory"  in memory of a friend who was a collateral victim to a race/gang fight. Some friends need to just shut up with it. Chanc was NOT driving the vehicle. He was not an Aryan Nation, but the 'friends"  he was with at the time were . All they had in common were weed and music. Unfortunately, he was riding with them . A ride that changed his life tragically!
      Chanc.was such a shining young soul. Everbody liked him. He was a friend's son's best friend. Uncle to two mixed race kids he loved dearly. He never was hateful. When he would visit, the whole house would light up and become lively. He was that kind of kid. Great smile.

      I really believe that the topic of Peace and that a near thousand blogs will be posting on Nov. 4th is a great social deed. Thanks to Mimi Lenox who created it, 7 years ago. One day. One voice. The tradition is to fashion a globe. There are templates on Mimi Writes (her blog) or you can create your own.

      I want to add my mother's war child story below. I included it in my 2010 Blog4Peace post.

      The Story of My War child Mom
      My mother was rescued by Allied forces in 1945. She was the youngest of  four young debutantes from Manila. They abandoned their lifestyle when rumor came that the Japanese were going to take Manila. The eldest sister, my aunt Elisabeth (Ivy) (they called her Elli) had stayed in Manila because she believed the Americans would come and stop it.
      She was killed by sniper fire and her body never found.

      My grandmother Catalina Rosalewski told me a story she had heard about how the people would hear yelling saying, "Food Food" and Japanese soldiers waving on people from the back of a truck. When the crowd rallied up to the truck, weapons were exposed and people shot in mass. This was one story of many of what happened when the Americans were on their way to freeing Manila and the Philippines. The Japanese destroyed as much as they could and killed off as many as they could so that when the US came there would be NOTHING is what I was told.
      Women and children.

      Elli had married a man we only know as Ivy (his last name) from Georgia who worked with my grandfather on the docks after leaving the US Armed Service. My grandfather was an old German American stevedore at the Manila Harbor. They say he had arms like Popeye. My aunt had returned with her one year old baby before the war hit the Phillipines from an attempt to live in the States. She left Ivy because she could not handle the harsh opinions of race and cultural changes. The sisters all say it was because she had no maids. The were debutantes, after all.

      My mom was only 12 yrs old and her niece Carol (Elli's baby) who was 2 yrs old spent from the last part of 1941 in the interior province of Pampanga hiding from the Japanese until 1945 when the Allies marched in.

      Under the Japanese, all Americans in the Philippines had to be registered and interned into the concentration camps. My grandfather was taken to a POW camp in San Thomas when the Japanese took Manila in Jan. 1942.  His best friend Mr. Todd was pictured with the famous three emaciated POW's on the Life Magazine cover.  Since my mother and sisters (not Carol they had to hide her) were half American, they did not "look" American.

      My grandfather Albert Johannes Rosalewski died of Beriberi a disease that is associated with starvation and eating only polished white rice for long periods. His family lost everything to WAR and they were also starving.  To this day, my mother does not eat sweet potatoes because apparently they had only that to eat many times.

      When the Allies gained control of Manila on their way they found my mom's family.  My 'aunt' Carol was about 6 years old and was a toe head curly topped malnourished version of Shirley Temple.  My mother remembers the names of the soldiers that saved her. 
      The 6th Ranger Battalion.

      My mother's family came to the US on a medical ship and settled in the San Francisco Bay Area. 
      My mother was 15 when she arrived.

      I surely cannot imagine one day of war and my mother waited almost 3 yrs (and as a child). It was enough time for my grandfather's health to degrade into a starvation disease and die.

      There are forces out there that hear no peace and will not stop unless they are put in check with the gun.  The gun moved in and forced the enemy from my mother's homeland and saved her.

      Japan and Germany are now peaceful and productive nations. The treaties following were orchestrated by the leaders of peaceful nations.

      I and my family hold no grudge for those nations.  My grandmother would just say, "I no liking Japanese", but they did not pass hate to us children. Most of the information I state here, was what I pried from my aging grandmother's memories when I was an adult.

      My mother has had a few Japanese friends in life.

      War is not always that forgiving in a family. War propagates generations of hate and sadness in continually war torn regions of the world.

      To live with hate is death and one might as well been shot instead and be over with it.

      Why and who would want to feed poison to your children? Hate, bigotry, and narrow no tolerance views.

      We all share this planet. All I can think of it to say to the haters is "Shut the Fuck up and get along"!

      Peace is saving war torn children 
      and families from 
      despair and starvation!

      Why I am recalling my mother's war child story is because it is a great opportunity to share it with the blog world. It also represents how much the world can change generations after a massive war like WWII. I see it as that is all over and we have and are trying so to have a World at Peace. So please continue to be peaceful and strive to ensure this.

      Thank you for taking the time to read my BLOG4PEACE post.

      Susan (aka Bluezy)

      Wednesday, November 2, 2011


      As I crawl The Virtual Dumpster I call The Internet...

      I remember watching this when it came out on MTV! INXS a band other than AC/DC from Australia!

      And about "communicate" in regards to Australians...
      I wanted to be witty when commenting on a blog I follow from Australia. I looked up some Aussie Slang!
      Now I wish I was an Aussie. Not only do they have a wonderful accent, but a wonderful way of saying things! I personally chose the crude ones. It is my way.

      Squizz (noun) : look - "take a squizz at this"
      Kangaroos loose in the top paddock : Intellectually inadequate ("he's got kangaroos loose in the top paddock")
      Who opened their lunch? : OK, who farted?
      Donger : penis
      Doodle : penis
      Old fella : penis
      Freckle : anus
      Clacker : anus (from Latin cloaca = sewer). Also the single orifice of monotremes (platypus and echidna) used both for reproduction and for the elimination of body wastes.Brown-eyed mullet : a turd in the sea (where you're swimming!)
      Bush oyster : nasal mucus (I personally call oysters on a half shell-loogies on a half shell)
      Crack a fat : get an erection
      Liquid laugh : vomit
      Root rat : somebody who is constantly looking for sex.
      Sheepshagger : A New Zealander
      Australia's most popular beer made by Foster

      Coldie : a beer
      Goog, as full as a : drunk. "Goog" is a variation of the northern English slangword "goggie" meaning an egg.
      Wobbly boot on, he's got the : drunk
      Full : drunk
      Screamer : party lover; "two pot screamer" - somebody who gets drunk on very little alcohol
      Schooner : large beer glass in Queensland; medium beer glass in South Australia
      Skull/Skol (a beer) : to drink a beer in a single draught without taking a breath
      Slab : a carton of 24 bottles or cans of beer

      Just a vacation going to a local "pub' you don't have to be drunk to be confused. LOL!

      Currently one third of the packaged beer sales in Australia are of VB. It is available in 375 mL cans ("tinnies"), short-necked 375 mL bottles ("stubbies"), 750 mL bottles ("Long Necks", "King Browns" or "Tallies") and "Twisties", "Throwies", "Throwdowns" or "Grenades" (250 ml bottles in the State of New South Wales). As of 2005 VB also comes in 500 ml tinnies ("Lunch Greens"), which are commonly drunk by trade workers on lunch, being just enough to quench their thirst. It used to be available in the Northern Territory in a 1 litre tinnie nicknamed a 'Killer can' (Kilo can). As with all packaged beer sold in Australia it was for many years only available in 750 mL or 26 2/3 fl oz (1/6 imperial gallon) bottles, until the introduction of "stubbies" and smaller cans. (from wiki)