I had a health issue yesterday and decided to relax. It is my day off from watching my gbabies. I am catching up on tv series I missed in the past. I had a playlist already for today.
My daughter wakes me up and says, "Mom, you got to get on the internet. Amanda is freaking out. It is her birthday and she found out the whole fucking zodiac changed because the Earth shifted or something." I am in a grog and I instantly think sci fi movie? Huh? What a way to wake up! I tell her, yeah I doubt it is a big change maybe if she is born at the beginning or end of the sign date-a cusp child.
Well I was wrong!
In fact yea Amanda is now a Sagittarius. I am an Ophiuchus. And I had no idea how to pronounce it. Apparently in the Virtual Dumpster I call the internet, there is a place for me to crawl.
Google Search- Ophiuchus pronounce you get - About 92,200 results
Huh? So I get this video below and watch the story. She says it three times and it is more like
off ee YOU kuss. Well now that is dandy.
The New Zodiac 2011
Capricorn: Jan. 20 - Feb. 16
Aquarius: Feb. 16 - March 11
Pisces: March 11- April 18
Aries: April 18 - May 13
Taurus: May 13 - June 21
Gemini: June 21 - July 20
Cancer: July 20 - Aug. 10
Leo: Aug. 10 - Sept. 16
Virgo: Sept. 16 - Oct. 30
Libra: Oct. 30 - Nov. 23
Scorpio: Nov. 23 - Nov. 29
Ophiuchus: Nov. 29 - Dec. 17
Sagittarius: Dec. 17 - Jan. 20
Hope this didn't fuck up your cool tattoo! My kids had matching intertwined signs.
Now the Scorpio is a Sag....
The glyph is cool, but the art is not much available in Google searching standards
About 38,200 results
Oh people are gonna be pissed about this, but this is the astrologically correct way of interpreting your sign as I see it:
"What constellation or sign were you born under"?
So you are the sun sign that was originally assigned to you because you were born under that sign.
This new zodiac would affect the younger not yet tattoo'd youth.
So chill! Your cool tattoo has not lost it's meaning.
And with out taking anymore of your time, I will be off finding my self at a place that I got when I google searched "best syndicated horoscope"
Edit Jan. 15th-
Astro Dienst at Astro.com makes a chart with info you give them. It is based on the stars etc WHEN you were born and WHERE and WHAT TME. Check your birth certificate if you don't know the time.
Astrologers are not including Ophiuchus in any of the searched horoscopes.
The world is in a stasis of denial. Then again, it would be logical to assume that all the robot software that predicted the below, now needs to be upgraded? Stimulus to the economy via the stars! More work for Astrologers and programmers!
Another one site I found an Ophiuchus daily horoscope:
You are trying to escape the routine, dull, and ordinary aspects of your life. You try to find new things that will make your life more exciting and stimulating. But with every effort of this kind, circumstances, duties, and obligations seem to hold you back and keep you stuck in an oppressive situation. You may get to a point where the pressure is unbearable, and then you will make a sudden break for freedom. You may suddenly leave a relationship, an oppressive job, or your place of residence, without warning anyone.
Ophiuchus's beware! LOL
Here is my version:
You are feeling caged in by the cold of winter and financial circumstance due to the holidays. You have become stagnant and bored and possibly bloated from too much yuletide feasting. Go out Ophiuchus's and embrace the winter wonderland. You have concealed secret plans on building the ultimate snow fort using cardboard boxes as forms and waiting for just the right amount of snow to do so. It might be cold, but shoveling and the flame from your cigarette lighter when taking breaks should keep you warm. Go Ophiuchus and build that snow castle and keep that coffee pot a brewing!
2 comments:
This is so messed up. Somebody had to have taken some serious Egyptian Pyramid when they came up with this. So all of us basically are under a new sign which none of us were two days ago. Hahahaha.
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